I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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