Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
