Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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