Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
