It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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