OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
