I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
