At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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