i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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