It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
