First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He shit in the fireplace
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
