he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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