We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
