I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
The best revenge is premature balding
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
