Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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