Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
