I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
