You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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