i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize