Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
You can't special order awesome
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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