She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
