I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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