i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
