We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize