Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
