Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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