dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
A+ Viking dick
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