i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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