just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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