8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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