Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
