why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
