no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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