Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
