dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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