I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
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just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
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I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
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It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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