Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
