hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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