sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
