i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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