I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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