Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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