two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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