u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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