dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
