Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
