I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I checked into jail on foursquare
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
