just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
