so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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