he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize