For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
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This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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