I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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