so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
