I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
