He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
