have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
