I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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