I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
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he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
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You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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