Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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