NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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