if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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